On July 13, 1986 he came into this world weighing only 3 ½ pounds. He was born a fighter. Fighting to breath, fighting to live. He was so tiny and one of the ugliest babies I have ever seen in my life. He was connected to so many monitors, too much for my eyes to see. My mother presented him to my sister and me and said, “Girls, this is your brother Robert.” We cried, and asked if he had to come home with us. She told us yes, and we cried more… “No, he is ugly.” She proceeded to tell us that, “No matter what he looks like, he is ours and we will love him none the less.”
Robert was so ugly that I took his baby picture to my kindergarten class and posted it on the chalk board. My classmates were so scared of him that they would lie down and be quiet if my teacher told them, “Shsh…Robert’s sleeping.” You could hear a pin drop in the class. That picture stayed in that classroom until Robert was a student. That was so funny. But as he got older he got a little prettier.
Being the fighter that he is, Robert grew rapidly after leaving the hospital. For the first couple weeks he could fit in his bassinette and then his feet were sticking out the top. My mom and dad had to cut the feet out his pajamas because he grew so fast. He is always beating the odds, when the odds are against him. So after visiting with him on V-day I knew he would beat the odds again.
After his surgery he was moving his right arm, pointing to the tubes in his mouth. He was sleeping and sedated most of that day. He keeps biting down on the ventilator tube in his mouth and trying to pull it out. He looked like himself mostly but there was some swelling but not a lot. I just knew that his appearance on this day would be the worst that he would look. Boy was I wrong. Below is Robert’s progression since the accident.
Walking into his room on 2-15 I was not expecting to see my brother looking like he did. When I saw him I thought I was going to break down and cry. He was much more swollen than he was on V-day. The surgeon told us that he was going to swell but I never thought that he would have swelled that much. His head was so big, his eyes were swollen shut, and it just didn’t look like him. I was able to keep my composure and say encouraging words to him. Today he started moving his left arm and leg. He hasn’t moved his left hand yet. He started making facial expressions, moving his nose and poking out his lips. He has been responding to people by squeezing hands and making hand signals. Sometimes he will move his head. He is continuing to bite at pull at the tubes in his mouth. They are keeping him sedated because they don’t want him to bite a hole in the tubes. Currently, he has a ventilator tube, a feeding tube and a tube to drain the bile out of his stomach. He has a blood pressure cuff on his arm and two contractors on his legs to keep the blood circulating in legs. He is maintaining a fever. It is fluctuating between 99 and 101 degrees. They are keeping the room cool and keeping cold compresses on his forehead.
We started noticing that the right side of his neck is swelling and very blotchy red. Earlier today they inserted a filter in his groin area to prevent blood clots (if they formed in his legs) from spreading to his lungs. They are keeping his right arm tied to the bed to prevent him from pulling out his tubes.
On 2-16 the swelling went down and he started to move his left side. He would throw his right arm up when you pinched his shoulder. He broke the arm of the bed today trying to get up and move the tubes again. He is always fighting. He started looking better, looking more like himself.
On 2-17 the swelling really went down, he is actually looking more like the Robert we know. He has been opening and closing his eyes. He keeps over coming the sedation they are giving him so they gave him a double dose today. The doctors don’t want him to wake up just yet. They want to preserve his brain tissue. They want him to wake up when more of the swelling goes down. But he has been fighting them tooth and nail.
Well, it’s 2-18 and Robert is saying forget the sedation meds and is really trying to wake up. He has been fighting his nurse all day, opening and closing his eyes. They are still trying to sedate him.
2-19 and Robert is very agitated but still trying to wake up. The doctors have decided to let him wake up and are keeping him on low doses of sedation. On Friday, they are going to take the tubes out and see how well he does.
It is 2-20 and Robert has his eyes open. He lifted his left leg today and he is making hand signals. He can see us now, and knows what color clothes we are wearing. We ask and he raises his hands. He really tried to get out the bed today but he knows he can’t. They are suppose to take the tubes out today but they are going to wait. They have taken him off all sedation meds and allowing him to wake up.
OMG… it is 2-21 and Robert is up. He is off all sedation and they have taken the tubes out. He started off whispering and now he is talking. He has been talking since he woke up. He knows what year it is, he knows everyone’s name. He doesn’t want to open his eyes because it is too light in his room. He was laughing, crying and joking and yelling. Saying it is too hot, he is hungry and he is sleepy. He has asked questions and answered a lot of questions. God is good. All prayers that are going up are sending several blessings down to my brother. Praise God…
2-22-09 and Robert looks much better. He is quiet and calm today. He is tired and keeps telling everyone that he is tired. So we let him rest today. He was singing and joking and flashing everybody but he is doing much better. Fighting to live, just like his tattoo on his right wrist says. Robert is progressing well and may be moved to a room tonight or tomorrow.
The doctors are being optimistic about his wonderful recovery, so are the family and all his friends. Since birth Robert has amazed everyone, quickly gaining weight and growing. Now, Robert is making amazing progress. He is no longer sedated but talking and joking. Next week he will be doing something else more amazing. My brother the fighter, the survivor.
Robert was so ugly that I took his baby picture to my kindergarten class and posted it on the chalk board. My classmates were so scared of him that they would lie down and be quiet if my teacher told them, “Shsh…Robert’s sleeping.” You could hear a pin drop in the class. That picture stayed in that classroom until Robert was a student. That was so funny. But as he got older he got a little prettier.
Being the fighter that he is, Robert grew rapidly after leaving the hospital. For the first couple weeks he could fit in his bassinette and then his feet were sticking out the top. My mom and dad had to cut the feet out his pajamas because he grew so fast. He is always beating the odds, when the odds are against him. So after visiting with him on V-day I knew he would beat the odds again.
After his surgery he was moving his right arm, pointing to the tubes in his mouth. He was sleeping and sedated most of that day. He keeps biting down on the ventilator tube in his mouth and trying to pull it out. He looked like himself mostly but there was some swelling but not a lot. I just knew that his appearance on this day would be the worst that he would look. Boy was I wrong. Below is Robert’s progression since the accident.
Walking into his room on 2-15 I was not expecting to see my brother looking like he did. When I saw him I thought I was going to break down and cry. He was much more swollen than he was on V-day. The surgeon told us that he was going to swell but I never thought that he would have swelled that much. His head was so big, his eyes were swollen shut, and it just didn’t look like him. I was able to keep my composure and say encouraging words to him. Today he started moving his left arm and leg. He hasn’t moved his left hand yet. He started making facial expressions, moving his nose and poking out his lips. He has been responding to people by squeezing hands and making hand signals. Sometimes he will move his head. He is continuing to bite at pull at the tubes in his mouth. They are keeping him sedated because they don’t want him to bite a hole in the tubes. Currently, he has a ventilator tube, a feeding tube and a tube to drain the bile out of his stomach. He has a blood pressure cuff on his arm and two contractors on his legs to keep the blood circulating in legs. He is maintaining a fever. It is fluctuating between 99 and 101 degrees. They are keeping the room cool and keeping cold compresses on his forehead.
We started noticing that the right side of his neck is swelling and very blotchy red. Earlier today they inserted a filter in his groin area to prevent blood clots (if they formed in his legs) from spreading to his lungs. They are keeping his right arm tied to the bed to prevent him from pulling out his tubes.
On 2-16 the swelling went down and he started to move his left side. He would throw his right arm up when you pinched his shoulder. He broke the arm of the bed today trying to get up and move the tubes again. He is always fighting. He started looking better, looking more like himself.
On 2-17 the swelling really went down, he is actually looking more like the Robert we know. He has been opening and closing his eyes. He keeps over coming the sedation they are giving him so they gave him a double dose today. The doctors don’t want him to wake up just yet. They want to preserve his brain tissue. They want him to wake up when more of the swelling goes down. But he has been fighting them tooth and nail.
Well, it’s 2-18 and Robert is saying forget the sedation meds and is really trying to wake up. He has been fighting his nurse all day, opening and closing his eyes. They are still trying to sedate him.
2-19 and Robert is very agitated but still trying to wake up. The doctors have decided to let him wake up and are keeping him on low doses of sedation. On Friday, they are going to take the tubes out and see how well he does.
It is 2-20 and Robert has his eyes open. He lifted his left leg today and he is making hand signals. He can see us now, and knows what color clothes we are wearing. We ask and he raises his hands. He really tried to get out the bed today but he knows he can’t. They are suppose to take the tubes out today but they are going to wait. They have taken him off all sedation meds and allowing him to wake up.
OMG… it is 2-21 and Robert is up. He is off all sedation and they have taken the tubes out. He started off whispering and now he is talking. He has been talking since he woke up. He knows what year it is, he knows everyone’s name. He doesn’t want to open his eyes because it is too light in his room. He was laughing, crying and joking and yelling. Saying it is too hot, he is hungry and he is sleepy. He has asked questions and answered a lot of questions. God is good. All prayers that are going up are sending several blessings down to my brother. Praise God…
2-22-09 and Robert looks much better. He is quiet and calm today. He is tired and keeps telling everyone that he is tired. So we let him rest today. He was singing and joking and flashing everybody but he is doing much better. Fighting to live, just like his tattoo on his right wrist says. Robert is progressing well and may be moved to a room tonight or tomorrow.
The doctors are being optimistic about his wonderful recovery, so are the family and all his friends. Since birth Robert has amazed everyone, quickly gaining weight and growing. Now, Robert is making amazing progress. He is no longer sedated but talking and joking. Next week he will be doing something else more amazing. My brother the fighter, the survivor.
Im really glad to know that he is progressing! Im still praying for his stregnth and for your family's stregnth.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I will never accept that y'all didn't want to bring him home. I refuse to accept that!
ReplyDeleteThis week was one of the most stressful, restless and overbearing weeks of my life. Even at the point where he started talking, I still felt scared. I always tell babe, that no matter what he goes through I will be there. I also told him that if anything ever happened to him I wouldn't know what to do. And it's true that at this point I feel helpless because whenever something would happen before, I made it a point to do whatever I could for him. I keep asking myself well maybe if I close my eyes I can hope hard enough to erase this. I wanted desparately to know what time would tell as the days go by. Yes I got plenty of kisses and some of the reassuring things from him as he began to come to, but it was still something else on my mind that kept me withdrawn. Knowing that I can not put all the pieces back together again just by wanting it so bad. Sunday morning as I got in my car on the way back to the hospital, my radio gave me a reminder that I needed. I heard:
As soon as I stop worrying,
Worrying how the story ends,
I let go and let God,
Let God have his way.
As much as I want to take control and put everything together now, I know that I have to let go and let God. So now I feel that I need to just do my part and stop worrying. Be there for him with all that I have and find comfort in the progress he is making. That's all that I need to do and will continue to do.
Oh, and this picture really reminds me of when we first met, when his young self had no facial hair. Ma looks very cute.
Glad he is up talking and tellin jokes...your brother is definitely a fighter. I'm going to keep praying for him and your fam...I know ya'll will continue to stay strong! B-Crow
ReplyDelete